Yenta's Corner………..

Getting started…..

Here you are using an on-line dating site and you may be feeling like this is the last resort. A sense of depression may have settled over your life and you've lost all hope of meeting your soul mate..don't despair…cwtch.com is here to help. And it all starts with you reading this….you don't get anything in life unless you make an effort! So well done!

Your Profile….

In creating your profile- try to make your profile as interesting as possible- try to remember that people will make an immediate impression from what you have written, so as fascinating as your ABBA fan club membership is, consider whether it's a true selling point. Whatever you write needs to reflect who you are and why someone should be remotely interested in you.

Your photograph is also important- its highly advisable to place a photo because between you and me..no photo suggests you are a minger! And that's what people will think and you'll wonder why you don't get any responses. Also make sure it's a photo of you- there will be nothing worse than hooking up with someone you really like and then facing the gut-wrenching task of meeting them and admitting that you lied….its ain't the basis of a good relationship.

Choosing someone to make contact with….

When choosing a person you like…..think about it? Are they more attractive than you? Its harsh but are they out of your league? Setting yourself up for failure because only the Brad Pitts of this world capture your interest is never a good idea. And also consider whether you are too good for them-the old chestnut, “ looks don't count, its all about personality “ is just not true!! Don't settle for anything less than you deserve.

Consider some issues before making contact…..

Distance….where does the person live? The great thing about cwtch.com is that most of the members will be living in Wales and that always helps. Long distance relationships can work but setting up dates can be hard,let alone pursuing a relationship.

Shared Interests….it really helps that you have some connection when reading their profile over and above what they look like. If you belong to Action Against Fur for example,you are not likely to bond with a gun-weilding member of the hunting brigade! Even if they are gorgeous! Consider this- the person you meet is potentially someone you might wake up next to for the rest of your life….do you want to share your life with someone you want to smother?( okay, that will happen even if you do have shared interests after being married for years!)

You found someone you like…..

Its always a good idea to contact them. Telepathy is a skill that most of our members do not possess. It is a good idea to send the person you like an email- don't make it too contrived and be honest…..you do not body double for Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie so don't say you do! Be yourself and be calm about responses. If you don't get one, then that person is rude and clearly not interested. They don't warrant a second thought! Do not pester them with repeated emails….it isn't likely to change their mind but they may consider a restraining order!

Move on to your own email or phone…..

If things are going well on site then move to your own email- but always remember that they then have access to your own personal email and getting rid of them may not be so easy. We have all been there….keep it within the cwtch system until you feel you know them a little better. And when you do give a phone number, try to make it your mobile. A home number may just mean that the person you really do not want to hear from may be speaking to your mother/room mate and that's never good! Especially because they may turn up for dinner one night!

Meeting Up……..

Always arrange to meet in a public place- we suggest that you come along to a cwtch night @ Bar Cwtch on Mondays where you know you will be amongst friends. Always tell someone where you are going and always make your own way to a location for the first date. Don't do the “ get a friend to call” trick half an hour into the date. Treat people with respect- there was something about this person that interested you- even if your knees don't go weak and you lose the capacity to speak, they are a human being and they DO KNOW what the phone call trick is all about. Think about how you would feel.

Try not to get plastered on your first date…not a great impression on the 2 nd either. Even if you regret meeting someone within seconds and you consider terminating your life over and above staying with them for one minute longer…drink is not the answer. Well maybe one!

Make a good impression for your first date. A little effort is going to go a long way. A T-shirt that hasn't seen the light of day but still retains the remnants of curry from last week will speak volumes about you. Don't overdue it either…it's a date not a wedding( never mention that word!) You are the person you are, good and bad, and as long as you are yourself that's all that matters.

Developing a Relationship……

Not to be too cynical, but consider some points-

Can they string an intelligent sentence together? We have all been there- great looking person and then they open their mouth! If they appear to be speaking a foreign language, only for you to find out its English, always consider that rather than being crazy for you, they may just be plain CRAZY!!

Do NOT on the 2 nd or 3 rd date arrive with composite pictures of your wedding and kids….and planting wedding booklets or homey magazines across your lounge when they come to your place for the first time is a big no no….the words, RUN come to mind!

Always practice safe sex. If someone doesn't want to use a condom….goodbye is the best response.You are responsible for your own safety. As much as naming your children after me is very touching, always remember the 90% reliable means 10% get screwed…..

Relationships are hard work but compromise is always a key….if you have been single for a while, take a chance. People surprise us sometimes and regrets are not worth anyones time.

Finally…. A Friendly piece of advice……

if you are signed up on a site for more than 2 years and getting no where…please consider the fact that you may need more help than Yenta can provide! Or maybe you need to re-look at your expectations…or hair do..or personal hygiene…….

Good Luck

Yenta.